ただいま

Well, I'm here. After about 20 hours of flying I've made it to Japan. And within an hour of being here, a little Japanese girl tried to sign me up for a credit card at the airport. I tried explaining that I was okay (as in, "I'm okay, thanks, I don't need it), but she understood that I was saying, "Okay" (as in, "Okay, great! Sign me up!).

So Mom and Dad, if you receive some sort of strange bill in the mail, it's not because the mailman put it in the wrong mailbox.

I kid, I kid.

It's truly remarkable that I'm here this May. If you were to go back a year ago and ask me if I felt like God was calling me to come back to Japan, if I were to answer honestly, I would have said no. Did I want to return to Japan? Definitely. Did I feel that it was God's will for me to go again? For the most part, no. In fact, if you were to ask me a month ago if I felt that God was calling me to go back to Japan, I probably would have answered with "no". Between my anxiety and fear and emotional poo, I did not feel much affirmation that this was the trip God would have me go on. A month ago, I met with my good friend Brady and shared with him that I was almost certain God was not going to have me go to Japan. The total cost of the trip was $3500, and as of April 1st I had a mere $700. I was supposed to have all my funds in by April 15th. But even beyond the finances, I wasn't even emotionally sure whether I wanted to go. I struggled a good while in deciding whether I should pursue this trip, and at one point I was very close to deciding I wasn't going to go. It is by the grace of God that I continued pursuing this trip.

That day I met with Brady, I was pretty down. Which isn't anything new, as I've struggled with a large amount of anxiety for the past two years, and it can cause me to go through bouts of sadness now and again. But at that point it was mainly due to the fact that I was accepting that God was not going to send me to Japan. The funds weren't there, and that usually is a sure sign for God closing a door. A friend of mine helped me out by making a promo video for the trip to try and help raise support, and I figured that was really going to take off. I expected to receive most of my donations through that video. In the end, I received about three donations as a result of the video. Not to minimize the contributions, because the fact that anyone would contribute to this trip to help me out means the world to me. But when you're short $3000, unless those donations are a grand a piece, you end up still being pretty short of your goal. The fact that the video didn't do as well as I had hoped was discouraging to say the least.

I notice I keep jumping around from story to story...I apologize. My attention span's not what it...we're gonna go back to the day I met with Brady.

As I said, I had a grand total of $700 that day, meaning I had two weeks to come up with almost three grand.  Brady and my conversation wasn't the happiest I've had, as most of it consisted of me talking about accepting defeat. It blows me away that he enjoys hanging out with me when so often I've ended up just throwing up my problems all over him.

So I leave Brady's on a down note. I go home and noticed that I had an email from someone I had sent a support letter to about a month prior to this day. They were asking whether or not I was still going on my trip in light of the tsunami and earthquake disasters, and if I was still raising money. I responded with an email saying that the trip was still on but I did not think I was going to be able to go due to my financial situation.

They responded saying they were sending me a check for $2000.

Wow.

The day I was at my lowest, God provided. The day I was sure God was saying no, He screamed, "Go!"

In the end, I was able to raise $3300 in a matter of two and a half weeks, allowing me to stay an extra five days in Tokyo with one of my three Japanese brothers, Takuro Okamura.

It hit me today how I was on my way to Japan, a place I was sure I would never see again. And it seems that Satan has done all he could to make it so I would never see it again. I'm not sure what all God has planned this trip, but the enemy has done everything he can to keep me from going. And when he saw that he couldn't keep me from going, he did all he could to ruin my view of God, to make me question and doubt why God was sending me, and to destroy my attitude about this trip. He has thrown everything he's got my way. And I felt some of that today. The enemy has already started with his warfare, and I don't expect it to get any easier. I don't know what God has planned, but it's gotta be something big. The enemy wouldn't put up such a fight for no reason.

Please be praying for me while I'm here, specifically that I would have a servant's heart and that I would be diligent and disciplined in having my time with the Lord. Pray that I will withstand the attacks of the enemy. And pray that God would speak through me. This trip is unlike any other I've been on, especially in light of the disasters. The entire country of Japan has been shaken by this. People will be asking questions, real questions. Questions that I'm afraid I won't be able to answer. Maybe even questions that I myself have. Please pray that God would give me wisdom.

I am also giving two Bible studies to a group of Japanese, one on grace and the other on trust. Please pray that God will guide me to the scripture I should use and that He gives me the words to speak.

As some of you may know, I am considering moving to Japan to teach English and do missions work. Please pray that God will give me insight regarding that.

And pray for Japan. Japan is the world's largest unreached nation, with a mere 1 out of every 750 Japanese claiming to know Christ. They have one of the highest suicide rates in the world, with 85% of its population struggling with depression of some sort. Pornography is rampant, and there is an estimated 150-200,000 sex slaves in Japan. It also has one of the highest rates of alcoholism in the world.

Japan needs Christ. Please, please, pray that the Japanese would have ears to hear and eyes to see the gospel. Pray that they would see how much they are in need of a savior, and how much that savior loves them. Pray for revival in Japan. And pray for the victims of the disasters, as there are thousands dead and even more homeless.

Pray for Japan.